Image Matters
Your 40s Are Not a Crisis – They’re a Creative Rebirth!
This isn’t a midlife crisis. It’s a recalibration of power, purpose, and self. What if your 40s are not the end of something? But the first time you finally choose yourself?
Visualise this: You’re in a team meeting, and you’ve just had a lightbulb moment – an idea that might change the entire direction of the project. Your heart skips a beat, but fear creeps in.
Will I come across as too forceful? What if I’m labelled difficult?
Well, welcome to the nuanced, frequently misunderstood art of assertive communication – where confidence meets courtesy, and clarity doesn’t have to compromise kindness.
Why Assertiveness Isn’t Optional Anymore
Assertiveness is the middle ground between passive silence and aggressive confrontation. It’s not so much about speaking out, it’s about being heard in a manner that builds respect, collaboration, and influence. And studies indicate that those who speak up for themselves effectively are more likely to be promoted and recognized.
As an image consultant and soft skills trainer, I’ve taught numerous professionals the fine art of balance in assertiveness. The reality? Assertiveness is a skill. And trust me, one can learn it.
First, Know Your Style
Before you change how you communicate, take a pause. Consider asking yourself these questions like:
Before you change how you communicate, take a pause. Consider asking yourself these questions like:
Understanding your current communication style is the crucial first step to enhancing it. Self-knowledge is the foundation of honest, assertive expression.
The Secret Sauce: Strategies to Speak with Strength (and Grace)
Now that we’ve covered the importance of self-knowledge, let’s explore the top strategies you can use to hone your assertive edge, without sacrificing emotional intelligence.
Trade blame for ownership. Rather than, “You never assist on this,” use “I feel overwhelmed when I do this by myself.” “I” statements leave room for conversation, not defensiveness. Make your requests specific and actionable.
Yes, it’s alright to “feel,” but it’s strong to pause. Breathe. Respond, not react. When things get heated, particularly when you’re arguing, take a moment to recharge. Remaining calm communicates control and earns credibility.
“No” is not rude. It’s responsible. Try: “No, I can’t take this on right now” – without overexplaining or apologising for setting boundaries. Remember: “No.” is a complete sentence.
It’s all about timing. Don’t make yourself heard amidst chaos or in public unless absolutely necessary. Find a quiet, relaxed space to give delicate or strategic feedback.
If you’re expecting a difficult conversation, prepare. Say it aloud, put it in writing, or practice with a friend. Practicing gets you sounding smooth, not frantic.
New to being assertive? Start with low-risk interactions, say no to a commitment that is not necessary or state a minor preference. Strengthen your muscle in small ways before addressing larger workplace conversations.
Assertiveness is not all about words. Stand tall with your weight on both feet, make eye contact, uncross those arms, and face the other person. A confident stance supports your message, even if your voice is weak.
Being assertive also means being an excellent listener. When people feel heard, they’re more likely to hear you. Active listening is a two-way trust builder.
When You Face Pushback (Because You Will)
Even with the best delivery, some pushback is inevitable. Don’t let it shake you.
In Conclusion: Speak Up, Without Selling Out
Assertive communication isn’t about having the loudest voice in the room, it’s about having the clearest, most composed, and most genuine one. It requires practice, planning, and faith in yourself. And when you learn it, you don’t just get heard, you get remembered.
This isn’t a midlife crisis. It’s a recalibration of power, purpose, and self. What if your 40s are not the end of something? But the first time you finally choose yourself?
Trends come and go. But personal style stays. So if your closet is overflowing and yet you feel like you have nothing to wear, read on.
You think you chose your shoes for comfort or style. Psychology says there’s much more going on. From sneakers to stilettos, every shoe sends a signal. The question is, what story is your shoe telling?